LOSER?? NEVER!!





Human beings can be horribly cruel with each other, especially verbally. Any decent counselor knows that the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” may be a good way to strengthen yourself against these barbs, but they DO hurt, and thinking that verbal bullying isn’t harmful is just denial of the facts. You can build up your mental toughness by refusing to react to these punches, and that is always good, but you also need to heal yourself from those hurts, not refuse to admit they stung. Songwriters have a lot of stupid press to counteract, with people either thinking you are either rich and won’t admit it or a total loser trying to dodge “real work.” Here are a few tips to heal yourself from these untruths, and keep doing the work you love.

THEY ARE THE LOSERS, NOT YOU

When someone calls you names, remember that most of these people are actually talking about themselves. The standard tactic of someone like this is to throw up a smoke screen to keep others from looking at the accuser’s life. The easiest way for them to do this is to distract potential viewers, often a person accompanying them at that moment they hope to impress and bamboozle is to point out someone else, make up some totally wrong statement about that person they don’t even know, and change the subject. They can then go on, rattling on at length about that other person (you), all things they are guilty of and not you, with teeny tidbits they may have heard through gossip about you to add “truth” to their statements. Pity these people. They obviously are troubled, and forgiving them will free your mind space for more important things like your music. Usually, when asked, you will find that these people envy you for your courage, and are trying to make you chicken out of what you are doing so they feel some sort of control over you to make them feel powerful. Sadly, it is their lives that are out of control, and they are too foolish to try to fix that, and they are really just distracting themselves from the real job they need to do in their own heads. What you are doing is a very tough profession, and you are proving your worth with every attempt you make, because you at least tried and learned something doing so. Don’t let a label like “loser” keep you from being the winner you are. They are losers for not seeing that, and not seeing that it is their lives that are messes, not yours.

TEMPORARY SETBACKS HAPPEN

Sure, there will be plenty of times you screw up. You will be so busy you forget to pay a bill, will forget to get a piece of equipment, forget a deadline for a contest. Don’t beat yourself up or call yourself names over it. This doesn’t make you a bad person, or mean that you are the type of person that is expected to mess up because you are a songwriter. It simply means that you made a mistake. Fix the mistake, and move on. Think of it like not making the cut on that album—the odds are pretty much against your life being perfect, so just go back, and try again. Chances are, you will fix the goof and life will go on. In a few years, you will probably totally forget you even made that goof, since you will be working hard on whatever your songwriting life is filling your plate with then. Life goes on—just tape that skinned knee, get it healing and keep going.

BALANCE YOUR LIFE

Most songwriters undergo a lot of stress, because, chances are, to support your songwriting, you are working a “day job” as well as juggling a personal life. Stress, studies have shown, will make you forget things, since it increases bloodstream chemicals that make your body more able to do things but less able to do others, thanks to our built-in survival mechanisms, causing you to forget some things, or have problems with routine tasks. Counteract this by fixing the chemical imbalance—get plenty of sleep, eat healthy foods, take a daily multivitamin, exercise, do things that make you laugh (read comics or amusing books, watch funny movies or TV shows, etc.), and spend quality time with family and friends. These activities enable mental clarity, even though they appear to take you away from what you need to concentrate on. Lives need to be balanced, and when they get out of kilter, it is often because we are working too hard, not too little. Caring for you helps make your songwriting time more productive. That bill might have been forgotten because your desk was a mess because you were rushing off to work to wait for your boss to show up for a meeting. Maybe taking the pile with you to play with would help, but so might be talking with bandmates for half an hour after rehearsal and then going home to sleep, not staying late where most were just sitting around and eating chips, talking about politics, neither of which would help you destress for a good night’s sleep so you wouldn’t forget that bill. Balance can often help you find a solution. So don’t let what others say keep you from songwriting. You are a winner for just trying to get one song performed in public, even if it is just at the local open stage night. If they had hobbies, they would be having positive fun with those, not wasting their loser lives cutting down your worthwhile efforts. Let your life be a mirror, and maybe they will see what they could be someday, instead of loathing what they are. It is their problem, not yours.



Deb's Top 5 Songs Of The Day:

Jimi Hendrix, The Wind Cries Mary
Paul Simon, Me And Julio Down By The School Yard
Pink Floyd, Mother
Bad Company, Shooting Star
Rod Stewart, Every Picture Tells A Story

Local Artist Of The Day:

Reserved